“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -Thomas Edison

Just like everyone else in the world, I’m “celebrating” the end of the year by reflecting on the ups and downs of the past twelve months. Unlike everyone else, however, I’m not sugarcoating anything — in the realm my own life, 2007 was a failure of catastrophic proportions. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Projects:

• Dream Machine

Of the five projects on which I made any headway this year, the Dream Machine was probably the most successful… though that’s not a major feat given the competition. Beyond my original prediction that the project would take two weeks (it took six), I’ve also failed to attempt any sort of virtualization. Nowadays, I pretty much just stick with OS X. The laptop runs beautifully, but I’m simply not using it to its full potential. Lesson learned — Tweaking doesn’t need a purpose; it’s fun for its own sake. I’m itching to try out the latest versions of Ubuntu and Fedora, though…

• Fitness

Though the Fitness project admittedly wasn’t the extent of my focus on health (more on that in a moment), it’s safe to say that I bombed it. I didn’t exactly get off to a “running” start (get it?), and I eventually got bored and stopped recording my progress. In the weeks following, I noticed a slowdown in improvement (and even some slight deterioration), to the point where I eventually decided that it wasn’t worth my time and I would have to re-work the project. Lesson learned — Health isn’t a project that can be tackled half-heartedly.

• Polyphasic Sleep

This project was a failure only in the sense that I didn’t achieve what I set out to achieve — two hours of sleep, every night, for an indefinite period of time. I did, however, master such feats as napping around the clock (for varying lengths, averaging about 90 minutes), waking up drenched, and making my roommates think that I escaped from an asylum. Lesson learned — People have no idea what to do about others who don’t share their sleep habits.

• Resolutions 2007

Last year, I claimed that I would score 20 “productive” hours (whatever that means) each and every day. No, I wasn’t under the influence or playing a prank. In some aspects, I’ve achieved that, but what I’ve truly failed at doing is documenting my time or using any form of accountability. I definitely feel better about myself in this regard than I did a year ago, but I don’t really have anything to show for it. Lesson learned — When it comes to productivity, choose quality over quantity.

• Write, Write, Write!

Write, Write, Write! was never an “all-year” project, but it’s worth mentioning. I wasn’t at all frequent or consistent with publishing (especially during this fall); not usually for a lack of writing material, but for a (perceived ;)) lack of time. I wish to carve out a certain amount of time every day for Don’tASQ instead of waiting until I have “a free minute.” Lesson learned — A great thing about writing is that it can be done any hour of the day.

Areas of Focus:

• Finance

Despite having worked a full-time job for seven months (instead of taking classes), I’m arguably not much better off financially now than I was last year. However, there’s no question that I’ve learned a lot about finance from all of the little things — savvy co-workers and roommates studying business, and even the process of finding the right credit card. Lesson learned — Debt in America is bad news!

• Fitness

In addition to the Fitness project (briefly reviewed above), I’ve made some serious attempts to change my diet. While I’ve had a bit of success, my biggest problem is, once again, not documenting that progress. Lesson learned — Fitness and Finance are mutually exclusive (healthy food can be expensive!)

• Relationships

Compared to a year ago, when I lived alone, this year has been incredible from a social standpoint (living with several good friends). Hermitization is on the decline and procrastination is on the rise! On the romantic side, I decided earlier in the fall that the timing wasn’t right to pursue any romantic relationship; surprisingly enough, I’m glad I made this choice, and it’s actually been kind of a stress relief. Lesson learned — Okay, so maybe not everything in 2007 failed.

Happy New Year! 2008 will be your best one yet!

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I’m writing this in response to a comic.

Before I begin, I’d like to point out that the 70% statistic used in that comic may be incorrect — or rather I have no idea where it came from. According to a June 2005 publication (scroll down to page 11), only 17% of Norwegians don’t believe in “any sort of spirit, God or life force.” Moreover, the report claims that 32% of Norwegians believe in a God, while 47% believe in “some sort of spirit or life force.” Thus, it seems that Norway might be, at worst, a nation of agnostics — a mindset quite different from that of atheists. If you happen to know what source inspired this comic, please enlighten me. But I digress…

Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of pro-atheism articles/videos/what-have-you hitting the mainstream media (or at least the mainstream Internet media). This doesn’t bother me in the slightest; in fact, sometimes I even nod or chuckle along with them, if they are sufficiently interesting or funny. Sometimes, I even agree or identify with them. What I don’t agree with is the premise under which these media minis are created — that religion is harmful to society and that religious people, as a whole, are unintelligent and annoying.

My response can be summed up in four words: I beg to differ.

(Now, of course, I should probably elaborate on that, shouldn’t I? I’ll warn you, though… you’re going to have to pry your mind open. Wide open. If you can’t manage that, you may as well quit reading now and be satisfied with my four-word response. Okay? Okay.)

I know many atheists. Some of them are good people; some aren’t. I also know many more religious people. Some of them are good; some aren’t. I know both smart and not-so-smart atheists. I know both smart and not-so-smart religious folk. Now I realize that your typical hard-nosed atheist might consider himself more astute than your typical staunch Catholic, while the Catholic might consider himself more pious than the atheist. But let’s be honest with ourselves — these stereotypes can only carry us so far. Quite frankly, I’m sick of dealing it from both sides.

Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that 70% of Norwegians actually were atheists. And yes, it’s true that Norway is one of the most developed nations in the world. Coincidence? Actually, I don’t believe that it is. That’s right — I fully agree that atheism may correlate with greater human development. Or, a bit more meaningfully, I don’t believe that failure to believe in God (assuming his existence) condemns a group of people to violence and poverty. At least, not in this life.

Ahh, there’s the kicker. If you’re at all familiar with the major religious texts, you know that those religions place much greater value in the spiritual realm than the material realm — if they value the material realm at all. So why would God care how healthy or happy or prosperous these infidels are? Moreover, religions (at least Christianity; I can’t speak for any others on this) hold that God puts believers through trials to strengthen them.

Now the atheists out there are saying, “OR it could be that we’re just smarter, less obsessed with aerial pasta, and therefore more prosperous. Haha! God doesn’t exist! QED!” Aww, crap. There’s that QED tactic again. Can’t beat that — proven!

Is your sarcasm detector working? You’re right, though. I can’t prove God’s existence or non-existence to you, and I’m not going to try. The best I can do is explain why I believe in God, how I came to that conclusion, and what I believe my life would be like had I gone down a different path. All I can tell you is what I know from my own personal experience. Maybe you’ll be able to identify. But I’m digressing again — that’s another article for another day.

In every circle of believers or non-believers, you’ll find a few fundamentalists — and by fundamentalists, I mean those who are very far on either end of the belief spectrum. What’s aggravating to the other 99% is that hanging, even slightly, on one side of the fence opens us up to a generalized attack from the fundamentalists on the other side. No, I do not literally practice “an eye for an eye.” No, I do not believe the teaching of evolution should be banned from public schools. And, for the last time, no, I am not going to point a gun to your head and ask you to join my cult. Mmmkay?

But I’ve gone on enough tangents already, and I’ve got work to do. I hope you enjoyed this rant. *puts on flame suit*

I may have briefly mentioned before how introverts and extroverts relate to one another (or, more likely, don’t), but have never really given any of my own thoughts on the matter. These tidbits are primarily based on my own experience, but I think they apply to all introverts, at least to some extent.

1. Introverts can pretend to be extroverted. Yes, occasionally when we’re in the right mood and the planets are aligned correctly, we can be social butterflies. Don’t be fooled — these moments don’t last forever.

2. We can also be talkative. If the topic is fascinating to us, you might have a hard time getting us to shut up. Such situations are rare, but if you happen to come across one, take advantage of it, because…

3. Our words mean more than yours. Don’t take it personally. Extroverts tend to think out loud, which means that a lot of stuff comes out, stuff that isn’t necessarily interesting. Introverts run everything they say through a mental filter. We may not speak our minds often, but when we do, we expect others to listen.

4. That brings me to my next point… Listen! And by “listen,” we don’t mean “think about what you want to say next.” When you’re an introvert, the world can be a frustrating place. You spend most of your day trying to filter through extroverts’ words because they couldn’t do it themselves. The last thing an introvert wants is to have to interrupt somebody. Be patient; we’ll talk when we’re ready.

5. We like to know that you’re listening. It seems like this would be obvious in an actual conversation, but this holds true even for things like websites! (And no, that wasn’t a “Leave a comment or else!” statement.) We need to feel that, regardless of the medium, we’re being heard. Extroverts like to talk. Introverts like to converse.

6. Don’t assume that we don’t want to talk just because we avoid people. Introverts thrive in small groups. If we’re at a club and you’ve got twenty friends in the middle of the floor and I’m standing alone against the wall, please don’t bring your twenty friends over and ask what’s wrong. If something really is wrong, I’ll probably lie about it. Start a one-on-one conversation and you’re likely to get a more candid response. If I don’t want to talk to you, I’ll probably go home.

7. Don’t assume that we do want to talk just because we’re… well, talking. Small talk is the bane of any introvert’s existence, but let’s face it — it’s a social expectation. Keep an eye on a person’s body language. If they’re looking at the sky while you’re babbling about the latest celebrity gossip, you’ve got an introvert on your hands. Tread lightly.

8. Some of us are snobs. Most aren’t. I’m going to be brutally honest here — extroverts bore us. Having said that, that does not mean we consider ourselves to be above you or that we don’t think you’re intelligent. We just wish you were a bit more captivating. But in all honesty, please don’t think we don’t respect your opinions. It is not the introvert’s intention to offend (usually), just like it is not your intention to flood the airwaves with meaningless chatter… right? Intro/extroversion is a personality trait, not necessarily a conscious choice.

Any thoughts from either group? *dons his armor and prepares for the onslaught*

Yesterday, I got into a discussion with a friend about the viability of non-traditional education; specifically, “Sudbury schools,” in which students essentially teach themselves. I had read this article a few months ago (and here is the website of the school mentioned), and that was primarily the center of discussion. I’d highly recommend giving it a read as well.

Personally, I couldn’t agree more with many of the points brought up. Contrary to popular belief, children don’t need adults standing around telling them what to do and how to do it. Heck, Charles XII became the King of Sweden at age 15. If children desire instruction, that should of course be available to them; however, they should be free to learn what they view as important. The article theorizes (and in my experience, this strongly holds true) that humans learn much more quickly and efficiently when they have a reason to be interested in the material. Personally, I think I would have thrived in a “Sudbury” school. I especially like this statistic near the end: 42% of graduates go on to become entrepreneurs.

What do you think?

Ten years ago…
Do you suffer from heartburn more than once a week? It may not be just your diet… you may have Acid Reflux Disease!

Today…
Do you have trouble sleeping at night and a constant urge to keep moving? It may not be just hyperactivity… you may have Restless Legs Syndrome!

Ten years from now…
Do you suffer from unusual hair color and a tendency to be bratty? It may not be genetics… you may have Redhead Disorder!

Ugg: Yo, Ogg!
(silence)

Ugg: Ogg Dawg, where you at?

Korgette (relaxing behind a boulder with Ogg): Your roomie’s calling. You gonna answer?
Ogg: No way. He probably just wants to go hunting for some grub. I’m not hungry.

Ugg: OGGGG! Dude, let’s get wasted!

Ogg (muttering under his breath): Not again…

Ugg (finally locating Ogg and Korgette): Whoa, there you are! For a minute there I thought you were trying to hide from me or something! But of course, that would be lame, right!? Ooooh, you’re with your giiiiirlfriend! Should I leave you two alone? (winks)
Korgette: Yes, you should. Ogg is… uhh… sick. Yes, very sick. You should leave him alone and crawl back under your rock.
Ugg: But it’s boring under there! Hey Ogg, I know what’ll make you feel better — I met some guys in this frat cave, and they’ll distill booze for only, like, five rocks! I just won big in a poker game, so I’ll buy yours! You in?
Ogg: Uhh, no thanks Ugg. Like Korgette said, I’m very sick. *cough, cough* See? I coughed. That means I’m sick. According to Prof. Biobork, booze isn’t good for sick people. Remember?
Ugg: Oh. I must have slept through that lecture…
Korgette: Besides, Ugg, don’t you have a couple of disciplinary marks already? One more, and you might get kicked out of your cave.
Ugg: Relax, ya stupid goody-goody! My R.A.’s tight; he ain’t gonna write us up.
Korgette: Maybe not, but he will. (points)

Coach Kickinthepants: UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Ugg (turning around): Oh, sh-!
Coach (yelling at 80mph): Ugg! Where the hell have you been!? Living under a rock?
Ugg: Well, actually…
Coach: Save it! We’re in the Dino Bowl tomorrow, for cryin’ out loud! You’ve missed three practices in row, you’re this close to being put on disciplinary and academic probation, and worst of all, your breath smells! I want 500 laps around the pond, STAT!
Ugg Yes, sir… (Ugg and Coach leave the scene)

Ogg (turning to Korgette): … So, you know where this secret frat cave is?
Korgette: No, but I’m about to find out!
Ogg: Me too. Thank goodness we’re not stuck with Ugg and his fish breath again! What are those little mints called? Knick-knacks or something?

I think there’s a reason that college students, generally regarded as some of the most intelligent people in our society (by and large, not to say there aren’t plenty of dimwits out there), have so much trouble keeping their dorms and apartments clean. And it’s not because they have lower standards and are more tolerant of messiness, though I’d assume that to be true. College students need room to grow and thrive, and taking time out of their constantly-morphing schedules to do menial things like clean house requires a lot of overhead.

You might argue that having a clean and organized living space might let students work more quickly and efficiently, even if there’s an initial cost in dissolving the chaos. I would tend to agree, but I also offer the following counterpoint — How is it that messy people can still manage to get things done, despite not having any human-recognizable system of organization? (I’m proud to be one of those people, and I prefer the term “organized chaos.”) In my opinion, the brain eventually adjusts to this chaos such that it can locate items and do whatever else it needs to do with little to no delay compared to your average neat freak.

Now then, on the flip side — What exactly is wrong with organization? Nothing… that is, if you don’t mind spending 10% of your time to garner a 2% increase in productivity (yes, I completely made those numbers up). My point is this: The reason that college students so often prefer chaos is that having a strict system of organization limits their ability to change that system. It’s really quite intuitive; when was the last time you saw a bill run through Congress in less than 60 seconds? Most likely never. But if the United States was run by a dictator (Bush, while almost there, doesn’t quite make the cut; and no, I am obviously not advocating this system of government), laws could be created, changed, or repealed in no time flat.

It’s just something to think about. All through adolescence, we were told to keep our rooms clean, our beds made, and were forced to help with a large-scale scrub-down any time company was expected. How certain are we that the benefits of this overrode its drawbacks?

Guess what? It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re single. (Or you’re not… but the single people are the ones I’m talking to.) Chances are, you’re doing one of several things.

If you’re a female, you may be spending the night in, watching movies with (single) friends, spilling gossip, complaining about how unfair the world is, wishing Mr. Right would come and sweep you off your feet and take you to [insert romantic exotic location here]. On the other end of the spectrum, you may be taking the initiative and hunting for Mr. Right at a highly romantic… bar or dance club.

If you’re a male, you’re probably out with your buddies, playing sports or complaining about how much money your last girlfriend stole from you. Or maybe you’re at that very same “romantic” bar or dance club, looking for a girl who might resemble someone you’d consider taking home. (Unlike her, though, you probably don’t care - or even realize - that it’s Valentine’s Day.)

… Or if you’re like me, you’re at home blogging about the whole ordeal.

Many single folks refer oh-so-lovingly to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day,” alluding to all of the obvious social and commercial pressure to be in an ideal relationship, while apparently ignoring the fact that, ya know, not everybody has (or even wants) a significant other.

I propose an alternative.

Rather than merely being aware of us lone wolves, people should appreciate the fact that we’re not effectively doubling the amount of space we take on walkways or plaguing the world with PDA. … Or rather, we should appreciate our own singleness, because the couples are likely to be too absorbed in themselves, anyway. They appreciate each other. We appreciate ourselves. Everybody’s happy! Therefore, I propose that we change the official name of Valentine’s Day not to “Singles Awareness Day,” but to…

Singleness Makes Insipid Lives Extraordinary (SMILE) Day!

That’s right, you heard it here first. (I claim all copyrights.) Think about all of the things we’re not doing. We’re not imprisoning ourselves in a spiral of depression by whining to others like us. We’re not spending boatloads of money on fancy dinners or flowers that may not survive a week. We’re not fooling ourselves into thinking that our relationship isn’t going to end in favor of a “Spring Fling” three months from now. We’re not picking up diseases from random drunken hookups… at least most of us aren’t.

My message is this: Singleness is a gift to cherish, not an illness to eliminate. Being in a relationship has its obvious benefits (not just those kinds of benefits). But if you do everything right, you’ll never be single again once you’ve got a ring on your finger… and that moment comes closer with every passing day. Enjoy singleness while it lasts!

For the last three weeks, I’ve been deeply engaged in an experiment with a sleep pattern known as polyphasic sleep. What follows is an eclectic mix of my observations, hypotheses, and responses to questions about the adaptation.

The Last Week: I’ve slowly been discovering that my work schedule isn’t quite as fit for polynapping as I’d originally believed. This isn’t to say that I’m giving up the schedule; on the contrary, I’m trying even harder to make it work. (Did you honestly expect anything less? ) Rather than ducking out during lunch for a nap, I’ve been taking a two-hour nap from 3:30-5:30am, and otherwise following the schedule as normal (with the exception of a 6:30 nap right before work, during which I almost never actually sleep). The “core nap” appears to be pretty effective in allowing me to survive the workday - however, it may be short-lived. My supervisors have mentioned allowing me to dial in and work from home, which would probably allow me to return to the normal schedule, at least for a couple of days a week. I’ll post updates on this as I learn more.

Hydro-powered Alarms: I’ve received several questions about how exactly I’ve set up an alarm clock to dump water on my face. It’s really pretty straightforward; I use the Sonic Boom alarm clock with a vibrating disc. Instead of placing the disk under my pillow like the manufacturers would suggest, I like to place it above my head on the edge of a table, then attach a cup of water to the disc (and attach the disc cord to the table with a little slack, so the disc doesn’t smack me in the face). The alarm goes off, the disc vibrates and falls off of the table, and if I’m not quick enough to roll out of the way, then I’m reaching for a towel. If you try this at home, just know that you will spend a lot of time with wet sheets, even if you yourself avoid the torrent. It’s a fact of life. Get used to it.

Blog & Summary Updates (or lack thereof): From this point on, I will only post blog updates when something significant occurs, and I will no longer keep track of the days. To be honest, I’m not even sure what day I’m on now… 22? I stopped updating the summary page last week because I no longer feel that it’s helpful. I’m in a phase where I’m modifying the schedule almost every other day, so keeping track of my progress means little, because the definition of “progress” keeps changing. I’m not sure what I’ll do with the logs of the first two weeks; for now, they remain.

Does polyphasic sleep really work? A resounding YES! Only a few times over the last three weeks have I slept more than four hours in a 24-hour period, and I’m in no way feeling sleep-deprived. Once my schedule stabilizes, I’m confident that I’ll be able to reduce that time to three hours or less, and be a lot more consistent with it. I can’t comment yet on the cognitive benefits; I haven’t personally experienced them, but my adaptation has probably been more erratic than most people who have. Whether or not those benefits ever surface, the sheer amount of extra time I have is more than enough of a benefit to outweigh the drawbacks of sleeping polyphasically.

Have you noticed any physical weaknesses? None at all. One of my main concerns before adapting was whether I would be able to fight off all of the cold-season sickies, but so far, I haven’t had any problems (*knock on wood*). I’ve had cold symptoms off and on, but they haven’t been as severe or as long-lasting as I would expect. So either I’ve been fighting a cold pretty well, or the germs just haven’t been fighting back.

Would you recommend polyphasic sleep to me? That depends. Are you creative enough to make use of an extra six hours every day? Can you handle a zombification period of anywhere from 24 hours to 24 days? (Just kidding. It’s no more than a few days, usually.) Do you have a baby? If so, you’ll be sleeping just like it, only for shorter durations. Do you have a boss who will understand why you want to bring a pillow to work? In short, I would recommend polyphasic sleep to just about anyone who can manage it in their schedules. Actually, I’d recommend it to just about anyone, regardless of their schedules. The way I see it, there are very few conflicts that would be worth passing this up. Not that I’m biased.

We’ve all heard that (in)famous phrase, “You learn something new every day!” For the most part, I agree with it. We watch the news. We pick up gossip. We discover that we’re out of toilet paper at just the wrong moment. Unfortunately, many of us seem to stop there. We become complacent living our lives in a way that (we think) makes us happy, and neglect to pick up knowledge at the speeds our minds are capable of.

Surely, no matter how stressful our lives are, most of us get bored on occasion. And what do we do in those cases? Flip on the TV, of course! (Or see who’s on AIM, read Cosmo, or go drinking.) The next time you’re bored, hold off that temptation, and instead just ask yourself a simple question. One question, that’s it; preferably one that you don’t know the answer to, about a topic that interests you. Here are some examples:

• Where did that phrase, “You learn something new every day” originate?
• How much do American students really learn compared to students in other countries? Why the differences?
• How do people in other countries perceive America?
• How do Americans perceive people in other countries?
• Just how serious is global warming?
• Are we ever going back to the Moon?
• How fast would college students, not held back by government bureaucracy, be able to plan a mission to Mars?
• It can’t be that hard to build a space shuttle… right?
• Seriously, why are most buildings square and boring? Don’t we have more creative architects?
• How often do square buildings collapse compared to, say, spherical ones? (Rolling away doesn’t count.)
• If a spherical building rolled away, would the people inside be able to run around like hamsters?
• How many calories would you burn by running in a hamster ball for one hour? How many more would it be if you were chased by an extremely large and hungry cat?
• Okay, I want a final verdict on caffeine: Healthy, unhealthy, or neutral?
• What’s all the hype about green tea?
• What’s the best way to sleep less and feel better? (By now, I think you all know the answer to this…)
• Why do we need sleep, anyway?
• What happens when a computer hibernates?
• What is this thing called Linux, and why is it ten million times better than Windows? (Sorry, just an opinion. From a Computer Engineering major. )
• Why is Windows Vista such a disappointment? (Okay, I’ll stop with the opinions. But they’re true, ya know.)
• What is DRM, and why are all the entertainment companies touting it while the tech gurus denounce it?
• How can I get a blog as cool as this one?

As you can see, there are basically no restrictions on the type of questions you could ask. If you’re in a silly mood, ask a silly question - it’s that simple. Then try to answer it! If your question was good, you shouldn’t be able to answer it immediately and will have to do a little digging, hence stirring up your curiosity, and (*gasp*) causing you to learn something new! You’ll be amazed at how deep you can dig on a topic that really interests you. I can’t tell you how many times a simple inquiry has lead me to do hours of research (polyphasic sleep is a prime example). Yes, it’s pretty nerdy, but I believe that by challenging ourselves and developing ourselves mentally when we aren’t obligated to, we’ll be much more prepared to use our noggins when it really counts.

So what are you waiting for? Go learn something!