“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” -Thomas Edison

Just like everyone else in the world, I’m “celebrating” the end of the year by reflecting on the ups and downs of the past twelve months. Unlike everyone else, however, I’m not sugarcoating anything — in the realm my own life, 2007 was a failure of catastrophic proportions. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

Projects:

• Dream Machine

Of the five projects on which I made any headway this year, the Dream Machine was probably the most successful… though that’s not a major feat given the competition. Beyond my original prediction that the project would take two weeks (it took six), I’ve also failed to attempt any sort of virtualization. Nowadays, I pretty much just stick with OS X. The laptop runs beautifully, but I’m simply not using it to its full potential. Lesson learned — Tweaking doesn’t need a purpose; it’s fun for its own sake. I’m itching to try out the latest versions of Ubuntu and Fedora, though…

• Fitness

Though the Fitness project admittedly wasn’t the extent of my focus on health (more on that in a moment), it’s safe to say that I bombed it. I didn’t exactly get off to a “running” start (get it?), and I eventually got bored and stopped recording my progress. In the weeks following, I noticed a slowdown in improvement (and even some slight deterioration), to the point where I eventually decided that it wasn’t worth my time and I would have to re-work the project. Lesson learned — Health isn’t a project that can be tackled half-heartedly.

• Polyphasic Sleep

This project was a failure only in the sense that I didn’t achieve what I set out to achieve — two hours of sleep, every night, for an indefinite period of time. I did, however, master such feats as napping around the clock (for varying lengths, averaging about 90 minutes), waking up drenched, and making my roommates think that I escaped from an asylum. Lesson learned — People have no idea what to do about others who don’t share their sleep habits.

• Resolutions 2007

Last year, I claimed that I would score 20 “productive” hours (whatever that means) each and every day. No, I wasn’t under the influence or playing a prank. In some aspects, I’ve achieved that, but what I’ve truly failed at doing is documenting my time or using any form of accountability. I definitely feel better about myself in this regard than I did a year ago, but I don’t really have anything to show for it. Lesson learned — When it comes to productivity, choose quality over quantity.

• Write, Write, Write!

Write, Write, Write! was never an “all-year” project, but it’s worth mentioning. I wasn’t at all frequent or consistent with publishing (especially during this fall); not usually for a lack of writing material, but for a (perceived ;)) lack of time. I wish to carve out a certain amount of time every day for Don’tASQ instead of waiting until I have “a free minute.” Lesson learned — A great thing about writing is that it can be done any hour of the day.

Areas of Focus:

• Finance

Despite having worked a full-time job for seven months (instead of taking classes), I’m arguably not much better off financially now than I was last year. However, there’s no question that I’ve learned a lot about finance from all of the little things — savvy co-workers and roommates studying business, and even the process of finding the right credit card. Lesson learned — Debt in America is bad news!

• Fitness

In addition to the Fitness project (briefly reviewed above), I’ve made some serious attempts to change my diet. While I’ve had a bit of success, my biggest problem is, once again, not documenting that progress. Lesson learned — Fitness and Finance are mutually exclusive (healthy food can be expensive!)

• Relationships

Compared to a year ago, when I lived alone, this year has been incredible from a social standpoint (living with several good friends). Hermitization is on the decline and procrastination is on the rise! On the romantic side, I decided earlier in the fall that the timing wasn’t right to pursue any romantic relationship; surprisingly enough, I’m glad I made this choice, and it’s actually been kind of a stress relief. Lesson learned — Okay, so maybe not everything in 2007 failed.

Happy New Year! 2008 will be your best one yet!

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Many of the topics and articles posted on Don’tASQ are somewhat controversial. Maybe you think that only new-age nutcases believe in the power of intuition. Maybe you think the “sit down, shut up, and take notes” system of education is highly effective. Or maybe you feel that the world is fine just the way it is — why should we bother changing it?

One thing I love about gratitude is that we can feel it and express it regardless of our stances or beliefs on any other issue. Gratitude crosses all boundaries and permeates all barriers between religions, cultures, and political parties. We don’t have to make a certain salary or belong to a certain group in order to show our appreciation for the people/things/ideas in our lives. In fact, we don’t even need the ability to speak — all that’s required is a pinch of humility.

I write these words not in an attempt to get you to list everything for which you’re thankful (that’s been overdone to the extreme), but simply to ask that we all become thankful. I ask that we live humbly and take absolutely nothing for granted. I ask that we loosen the grip on our own egos by a mere smidgen. I ask that we focus on what we have that others don’t rather than what we wish we could “one-up.” Heaven knows that if every person in the world even attempted to adopt this mindset, we’d all be much better off.

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting started right now. Happy Thanksgiving.

Moral of the Story: Even the most mundane things in life (such as grocery shopping) can yield brand new insights.

On my way to Whole Foods tonight, I stopped for gas, which caused me to get a bit turned around. Rather than taking main roads as per usual, I found myself driving through a dark residential area. I’ve been to the Whole Foods area of town dozens of times, so I knew in which general direction I wanted to go — but the curvy roads weren’t taking me there! Soon enough, I realized that my internal compass had given up (and, to top it off, I couldn’t see any street signs). Fortunately, a little voice spoke up…

Voice in my Head: Don’t worry, you’ll get there. Trust me.
Me: Okay, fine, but the lack of street signs is a little disturbing. Which way?

A left turn here, a right turn there, another right…

Me: What *@$# street is this!?
Voice: Simmer down and make a right.
Me: But- Oh. *sheepishly* I know exactly where I am now.
Voice: Told ya!

Insight #1: Not only is the intuition very intelligent, but it also has its own personality.

(Sidenote: Some of you may balk at my use of the word “intuition.” If so, don’t — there are plenty of suitable substitutes. I’ll be writing an article specifically about intuition very shortly.)

I actually went shopping at both Whole Foods and Schnucks (a more standard grocer), since each has certain things that I can’t or prefer not to buy at the other store. Whole Foods is almost always a crowded store with very narrow aisles compared to those at Schnucks; yet almost every person I saw was very polite about the “traffic jams.” Up front, the cashier smiled at me and started a brief conversation. She even asked whether I would like paper or plastic (I, of course, chose paper ).

The cashier at Schnucks, though polite, just didn’t seem as happy to be working tonight (not to mention that she was somewhat overweight, while the woman at Whole Foods appeared healthier in general). As I said “Thank You” and heard her mutter something resembling “Uh-huh,” the customer who’d been in front of me in line started to argue with her about getting one dollar off of an item that may or may not have been on sale. I didn’t stick around to see how that ended!

Granted, this is only one shopping trip, and the perceived differences between grocers could be explained in many ways, but my (admittedly very generalized) impression stands.

Insight #2: Hippies are happier.

This is America. Stress is the name of the game, especially if you’re in college — right? Feeling stressed means that we’re working hard. Working hard means that we’re preparing for the future. Preparing for the future means that, someday, we’re going to have the lives we’ve always dreamed of.

… Or are we?

Take about six steps backward and look at the big picture. Ask those tough questions that your high school teachers tried to make you ignore. Why are you in college? Why are you majoring in _______? Are you learning relevant material?

Are you thinking yet? If you’ve read this far, you probably have some unanswered questions. Stay with me, then, because it’s about to get much harder.

You: AHH! I’m sooo stressed!
Me: Uh-oh, why’s that?
You: I’ve got six exams, four projects, nine dissertations and a partridge in a pear tree due next week! I’m gonna DIE!!
Me: Okay, simmer down. Stress isn’t caused by the work; it’s caused by how you react to the work. Why are you doing so much, anyway? Is getting straight A’s really worth all of this?
You: Yes, because I’m trying to get into med school! And law school! And underwater basketweaving school! And…
Me: Wow! Why do you want to do that?
You: So I can become a doctor! And a lawyer! And… an underwater basketweaver?
Me: Okay, that’s quite an ambition… why did you choose those particular fields?

Now if this is something that you’re honestly struggling with, I want you to take a moment to think about that last question. Seriously — don’t continue reading until you’ve answered it.

If your answer contained anything resembling the words “parents” or “money,” don’t take this too harshly, but you’re in the wrong field. I don’t care how much money you can make, or what other people expect of you; if you cannot honestly say that you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing because you enjoy it (not simply that enjoying it is a side effect), and because it’s important to the world, you’re going to be miserable for the rest of your life.

Some of you, especially younger pre-med majors, are screaming at me right now. “But Scott, it’s all going to pay off in the end! Once I’m done with undergrad and med school and residency and cult initiation, I’m going to love my job!”

I’m going to fire back: What, exactly, is the purpose of going through college/med school/residency? Is it not to prepare you for what you’re going to experience on the job? Is it not so that you can “practice” medicine effectively? And wouldn’t the most effective way to learn be by experiencing (as much as possible) things that pertain to the job you hope to someday have?

You can put two and two together. If you don’t like your major, and assuming that your major is actually similar to your desired career path, how are you ever going to enjoy your career? Or, for that matter, your life? (And if your major has nothing to do with its corresponding career, what’s the point of college in the first place?)

I’ve touched on this before in Purpose of Education.

So let’s say that you’ve come to an epiphany. You hate Underwater Basketweaving. Congratulations! Now, then, what’s next? If you’ve been paying attention, that step should be obvious — decide what you want to do. (There’s something for everyone… even if it’s Entrepreneurship!) Some would argue that you should choose a career path based on service, calling, contribution or what have you. I agree with that, but it still has to be something you truly want to do. Otherwise, you won’t do it effectively, no matter how important it is.

At this point, don’t even think about how much money you’ll be making (or not making). In fact, don’t even think about how much skill you have in a given field. If you’re doing what you truly love, both of those things (not to mention straight A’s) will come naturally. When your work stops feeling like work and starts feeling like an enjoyable hobby, you’ll know you’ve hit the jackpot. And hitting the jackpot is a great way to relieve stress.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go change my major.

Article partially inspired by this podcast: Creative Self-Expression

Age 1: Enjoy the little things. Sometimes they’re all you have.

Age 2: Everything has a purpose, even if you don’t understand it.

Age 3: Believe it or not, your parents really do want the best for you.

Age 4: Siblings may resemble the devil incarnate, but you still have to deal with them for the rest of your life, so you might as well remain on good terms.

Age 5: Treat each person you see today as if you’ll never see them again. It may be true. Then again, sometimes life throws you a curve ball…

Age 6: Everyone was born with a set of unique talents and abilities. Some will be more obvious than others, and some people will learn about their talents earlier than others. It’s not what your talents are, but how you use them that makes all the difference.

Age 7: Everything has a purpose, even if you don’t understand it.

Age 8: Some people have oversized egos. They may be intimidating at first, but don’t worry — deep down inside, they’re just insecure, and possibly even jealous of you. They will never admit this.

Age 9: You can’t judge a book by its cover. You can’t judge people by their looks, either. But you still do, whether you realize it or not.

Age 10: Just because other people like to boast doesn’t mean they enjoy you doing it. Keep your head to a respectable size, and you’ll make more friends.

Age 11: Stand out in the crowd, and people will look at you. They’ll probably laugh at you. But rest assured that at least a few people out there want to join you. Groupthink may prevent them from actually doing so, but someday, they will be brave enough to stand on their own. Until then, it’s up to you.

Age 12: Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be. Don’t let that get you down. There’s always a good reason.

Age 13: If you don’t like the system, don’t fight it directly. You don’t have the strength to win. Follow it, fly under the radar, climb the ladder… then use your influence to change the system from the top down.

Age 14: You are simultaneously more popular and less popular than you realize… especially when it comes to the opposite sex.

Age 15: Everyone is worth your time, but you may be better off spending that time doing different things with different people — like introducing them to somebody else and politely excusing yourself.

Age 16: Don’t act righteous, even if you are. People hate that. Instead, learn to be a good friend and forget about being judgmental. In the long run, it’s your own mistakes that will be most damaging.

Age 17: People you met many years ago will spontaneously reappear in your life in very unexpected ways. However, they will be radically different, perhaps almost unrecognizable (in looks and personality)… as will you.

Age 18: You remember what you learned back when you were three? Well, your parents may want the best for you, but that doesn’t mean they never make mistakes. Someday, you’ll make mistakes as a parent, too. But if you can avoid the same mistakes your parents made, your children will be marvelous people.

Age 19: Act your age. Nothing gives you the right to complain about your life to everyone in the vicinity. If you’re carrying baggage, there are plenty of people out there who would be glad to help unload it… but you’ve got to ask first.

Age 20: Change is what life is all about, so get used to it. It’s great to remember the past, but dangerous to cling to it.

Age 21: At age seven, you learned that everything has a purpose. People have purposes too, and what’s depressing is that most of them don’t even know it. It’s easier to learn than you might think. Here’s a hint: The day you’ve stopped learning and growing is the day you’ve gone down the wrong path.

(Almost) Age 22: Thinking for its own sake is fruitless. Sometimes, the soundest decisions are made on a whim. Emotion is rooted in reason, but reason is emotionless. Follow your heart, or you’ll end up regretting it.

I’ve written a bit about personal growth, and it’s a topic that will probably be featured here much more. What follows is a blog entry I wrote on April 16th, 2006 (before this site existed). This was a highly stressful period in my life, during my sophomore year of college, suffering the pre-finals crunch at the end of the spring semester.

I’ve often tried to pinpoint when exactly my goals in life shifted from something like, “study Engineering, make big bucks, marry hot chick” to “study everything, devote life to improving the world, marry decent-looking chick who agrees with those plans.” This entry may provide some insight…

My suitemates are in the common room laughing loudly at something most likely vulgar and obscene on the TV. They sound like a bunch of stereotypical, lazy college guys. A year ago, I’d probably be going out there to see what was so entertaining. Right now, though, it’s just kind of pissing me off - and I’m not even doing homework. How can people waste so many hours of their lives engrossed in watching a colored screen, without any sort of interaction or mental stimulation? Sitting on a couch, absorbing the things someone else took days/weeks/months to create, regurgitating various phrases over alcoholic drinks and pretending it’s actually cool.

… What’s happening to me?

While the tone is fairly negative, looking back on it, this was a time of trials with a very positive outcome. Moral of the story: Things will get worse before they get better… and they always get better.

Imagine (if necessary) that you’re a student at a major four-year university. You roll out of bed at 8:45am on a typical Monday morning, pick up some mismatched articles of clothing from the floor and throw them on before leaving your dorm. As you walk at a faster-than-normal pace toward your 9:00am class on the opposite side of campus, you briefly stop to chat with a couple of your friends. You leave them alone after finding out that they haven’t slept in two nights - apparently, they have a killer Bio exam tomorrow. You continue on, grumbling about the reminder that you’ve got your own exam to study for. You wistfully wave to acquaintances as you space out, wondering who the professor will embarrass today… oops! (You duck behind a tree to avoid being spotted by your ex.)

A few minutes later, you spot another acquaintance, one you’ve barely ever spoken with. He’s always seemed a bit withdrawn, and exhibits some of the symptoms of one of those antisocial disorders you remember studying in Psychology. You almost pass by without acknowledging him, just like everyone else usually does. But then, something inexplicably changes your mind. You turn toward him, smile, give a brief greeting, and ask how his weekend went. He appears startled, but you listen intently as he tells you about his grand adventures in… World of Warcraft. “Sounds… interesting?” you say, but he actually doesn’t seem to feel the same way. You tell him about a choir concert that you’ll be in this weekend, and suggest that he go - just for something to do, since it’s free for students. And for the first time ever, you see him smile. You part ways and sprint toward your class (which has already started).

If you happened to be a student at Virginia Tech, you may have just saved 33 lives.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” We all heard that line as kids. Unfortunately, it’s the second biggest lie that’s ever been told. (The biggest one, if you’re curious, has to do with a certain “War on Terrorism”…) Words do hurt, and they can cause people to do unimaginably horrible things - but the good news is that words can also cause people to do unimaginably fantastic things.

The shooter at Virginia Tech was a 23-year-old Korean student, a permanent resident by the name of Cho Seung-hui. He was described as a “loner”, and was actually referred to a school counselor at least once. Seung-hui was not a typical “work hard, play hard” college student. He was not heavily involved in campus activities, he was not a star athlete, and he had very few friends, if any at all. The most violent people in American society are not your small-time burglars, your drug addicts or your drunken frat boys. The most violent people in American society are those whom everyone else has forgotten. They’re the ones we’ve left out, be it intentionally or not. They are the people who hide in the shadows, observing everything else going on around them - and despising it.

Fortunately, these folks do have to come into the light sometime, and it’s our job to make sure that they don’t regret doing so. Please, for the sake of… well, everyone, never hesitate to speak a few kind words to these social “outcasts”. You probably don’t even have to go out of your way - if you’ve put a smile on their face, you’ve succeeded. And that smile may be the difference between life and death.

Assuming you haven’t lived under a rock for the last five years and have wasted a reasonable amount of time surfing the Internet, you’ve almost certainly run across a blog or two. You know, blogs - short for “weblogs”, kind of like journals or diaries, but in a digital format. They often remain personal in content, but rarely in audience. So, if you don’t mind my asking, what did you think?

Were any of them particularly enlightening? Were any of them good enough to bookmark and share with your friends? Did they inspire you to change careers, or to propose to your sweetheart, or to give away all of your belongings and devote your life to priesthood in Fiji?

If you could honestly answer “yes” to any of the above questions, please tell me where these blogs are. Blogs, while highly conversational, are usually devoid of meaningful content. In other words, they’re easy and often pleasurable to read, but don’t provide their readers with much value… kind of like Cosmo. Blogs come in several flavors: News/Politics (they’re almost indistinguishable nowadays), irrelevant personal anecdotes, collections of numbered lists…

Yes, that’s right - I said collections of numbered lists. Anyone who’s ever surfed the Internet for websites about a personal development topic (such as health or personal finance) has undoubtedly come across a few of these. You know what I’m referring to: “Shed 50 Pounds Before Summer With These Five Great Tips!” As an example, I’m currently looking at one of my RSS feeds (name of the blog omitted to protect the guilty), showing the titles of the latest nine posts. Of those nine titles, seven contain numbers: “Ten Commandments”, “22 Tips”, “Four Profound Agreements”, “44 Longevity Tips”, “9 Easy Ways”, “10 Timeless Lessons”, and “207 Great Tips”. Collections of numbered lists aren’t inherently bad, but they can make the wrong impression - that following these “Five Great Tips” will result in a painless overnight transformation. They won’t, nor will anything else.

How many blogs have truly changed your life in some positive way? It doesn’t even have to be a major change (like giving away all of your belongings and devoting your life to priesthood in Fiji); something as simple as learning to cook would be great. My count is probably hovering around the 3-4 range - and I’ve spent a lot of time on the Internet. Most blogs seem to exist primarily to waste our time. Don’t get me wrong, they do a great job of that, but if we’re already spending all of that time reading other peoples’ scrawlings, wouldn’t it be best if we could acquire long-term benefits from them?

Any blog worth reading should provide some value beyond the text. In other words, if it’s not changing the way you think, feel or act, or inspiring you to go change the way someone else thinks, feels or acts, drop it. The idea seems harsh (and probably is), but I can guarantee that it will be a huge time saver, if nothing else. As a personal example, I started this website with a clear mission in mind - to change the world, first in thought, then in action. I’m barely just getting started on the thought changes, but you might think of this website as Phase I of Scott’s Master Plan (for World Domination). Jokes aside, my point is that this website has a purpose beyond simply making money or being an outlet for mental turbulence.

With that said, it should be obvious by now that most blogs aren’t worth reading! Stop wasting your time with them; you should be able to tell within a couple of minutes whether you’ll ever return. And shedding 50 pounds in six weeks isn’t healthy, so you can stop Googling for that, too. Get out of that comfy chair and go contribute something to the world. If you’re not sure where to start, try discovering your purpose first. (FYI, Steve Pavlina’s blog, the one I just linked to, would probably be one of my “worth reading” choices. Spend some time there; it might become one of yours, also.) Remember the old adage, “One reaps what one sows.” For a less kindly-worded motivator, read my Thoughts on Apathy post. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to catch a one-way flight to Fiji.

One morning, during my junior year of high school, I was sitting in class (a web design class, interestingly enough) finishing up an assignment and conversing with a classmate. I don’t remember what the conversation was about, nor whether it was even so much a conversation as a one-sided rant, but one comment in particular from him stuck out, and I remember it to this day. I don’t even remember the exact quote, but the general idea is this:

Our planet wouldn’t be so jacked up if people were content to be just as good as everyone else. The problem is that everybody wants to be better than everyone else, and they end up screwing each other over.

American culture encourages greatness. It encourages us to be the best, to be champions, to be stars. American culture wants us to be #1. Not tied for #1 - no, that’s not good enough. When’s the last time you saw two competing countries share a gold medal in an Olympic sport? When’s the last time you heard of a tie for a Grammy award? Not a chance; in the Olympics, a second-place contestant will get a silver medal and a bit of recognition to encourage them to come back in four years. Second-place Hollywood stars don’t even get that.

Greatness in itself is not problematic at all; there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be the best, right? Of course not - the problem comes in when we forget about a very simple concept: Every “best” implies that there is a “worst”. And people don’t like being the worst. People don’t like putting in time and effort only to earn very little, if any, return. In short, we have two competing ideas:

1) We invest large amounts of time and effort into becoming the “best”, and we expect to be compensated for this investment.
2) Others invest large amounts of time and effort into becoming the “best”, and also expect to be compensated for this investment.

Let’s use an example to make this a bit more concrete. We’ll say that Company A and Company B (creative names, huh?) are competing for sales among a group of consumers. To do this, they spend a certain amount of money on advertising, in hopes of making the largest positive return that they can. Company A spends $300 on advertising but sells only $200 of product, for a $100 net loss. Company B, meanwhile, spends $400 and sells $600, for a $200 profit. In this scenario, Company B grows, squashes Company A out of business, etc. etc. We’ll assume that Company B keeps its advertising budget and steals the sales from Company A, resulting in a $400 profit. Somebody wins, somebody else loses.

Let’s say now that Company A and Company B merge… into Company AB. (Never mind that it will eventually be broken up by anti-monopoly laws.) With proper cooperation, the combined brains of the two marketing departments are able to come up with a campaign costing only $300, but which nets $1000 in sales, resulting in a $700 profit. You might argue that, because the two companies merged, each company’s profit is actually around $350 - and you would be correct. On a very small (and very simplified) scale, competition doesn’t seem all that bad. It’s not until we step out and look from a global perspective that cooperation really starts to make sense…

The problem with competition (we’re talking broadly, not from the business perspective) is very simple, yet often overlooked: Someone’s effort ends up being wasted. While in some cases - the business world being one - competition appears beneficial, from the perspective of global progress, competition is simply too inefficient.

The Cold War is an excellent example of pointless competition. The United States and the USSR were developing state-of-the-art space and weaponry technology… yet much of that development was geared toward threatening each other. Where would we be today if the two countries had put that time and money into jointly improving a worldwide space exploration program?

When we focus our efforts in one direction instead of wasting our time competing with one another, no matter what the project, we’re bound to make much greater progress. Instead of thinking, “How can I do better?” try thinking…

“How can we do better?”

Guess what? It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re single. (Or you’re not… but the single people are the ones I’m talking to.) Chances are, you’re doing one of several things.

If you’re a female, you may be spending the night in, watching movies with (single) friends, spilling gossip, complaining about how unfair the world is, wishing Mr. Right would come and sweep you off your feet and take you to [insert romantic exotic location here]. On the other end of the spectrum, you may be taking the initiative and hunting for Mr. Right at a highly romantic… bar or dance club.

If you’re a male, you’re probably out with your buddies, playing sports or complaining about how much money your last girlfriend stole from you. Or maybe you’re at that very same “romantic” bar or dance club, looking for a girl who might resemble someone you’d consider taking home. (Unlike her, though, you probably don’t care - or even realize - that it’s Valentine’s Day.)

… Or if you’re like me, you’re at home blogging about the whole ordeal.

Many single folks refer oh-so-lovingly to Valentine’s Day as “Singles Awareness Day,” alluding to all of the obvious social and commercial pressure to be in an ideal relationship, while apparently ignoring the fact that, ya know, not everybody has (or even wants) a significant other.

I propose an alternative.

Rather than merely being aware of us lone wolves, people should appreciate the fact that we’re not effectively doubling the amount of space we take on walkways or plaguing the world with PDA. … Or rather, we should appreciate our own singleness, because the couples are likely to be too absorbed in themselves, anyway. They appreciate each other. We appreciate ourselves. Everybody’s happy! Therefore, I propose that we change the official name of Valentine’s Day not to “Singles Awareness Day,” but to…

Singleness Makes Insipid Lives Extraordinary (SMILE) Day!

That’s right, you heard it here first. (I claim all copyrights.) Think about all of the things we’re not doing. We’re not imprisoning ourselves in a spiral of depression by whining to others like us. We’re not spending boatloads of money on fancy dinners or flowers that may not survive a week. We’re not fooling ourselves into thinking that our relationship isn’t going to end in favor of a “Spring Fling” three months from now. We’re not picking up diseases from random drunken hookups… at least most of us aren’t.

My message is this: Singleness is a gift to cherish, not an illness to eliminate. Being in a relationship has its obvious benefits (not just those kinds of benefits). But if you do everything right, you’ll never be single again once you’ve got a ring on your finger… and that moment comes closer with every passing day. Enjoy singleness while it lasts!