Letting Go of the Past
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t… it never was.
I cannot tell a lie — I hate that quote.
If you truly love something/someone, why on earth should you risk losing it/them forever? That’s pretty much one of the stupidest choices a person could make. Clearly, the thing we think we want most in life is the only thing we should ever strive for. What could possibly go wrong? The human mind is infallible, after all!
Leaving the sarcasm behind, I personally must admit that I don’t so much hate the quote as have trouble applying its wisdom. It’s possible that you don’t, but for the rest of us humans, it’s important to learn how to let go of our past. (A crucial terminology note: I will use the word “past,” but take it very liberally. You may have trouble letting go of an ex or a soon-to-be ex, a child who’s gone off to college or a child who’s spending the day at kindergarten, a business idea that has long since died or a business for which death is inevitable. “Past” can very easily refer to the present or even the future.) If you haven’t done so already, I’d like you to think of a particular thing, person, idea, event, or place for which you have a strong emotional reaction. This “emotional reaction” is probably a feeling of desire or loss, but it could also be a number of other emotions. The particular reaction doesn’t matter; what we’re attempting to do is make that reaction disappear by — you guessed it — letting it go. Keep this thing/person/idea/event/place in mind as you read the remainder of the post.
The first step in letting go, and perhaps the most important, is closure. Unfortunately, closure isn’t always easy to come by. Tragic events can happen suddenly and may never be understood — consider just about any unsolved murder case, for example. But if you’re thinking about a person with whom you’re still in contact or an idea that still occasionally surfaces in your head, you should work to gain as much closure as possible. Understand whatever happened, why whatever you desire cannot (or should not) come to pass. Ask questions and find their answers. Talk about it, to yourself if necessary. Accept that this has happened (or will not happen); don’t allow it to cause you any further stress, but come to peace with it. You are in full control of your emotions — don’t let them control you!
Once you’ve accepted that “bad things” occasionally surface in our lives and that it’s our job to make them less bad, it’s time to start learning from those things and apply that knowledge to the present and future. What can we learn from this failed business to make the next one succeed? What can we learn from this broken relationship to make the next one more fulfilling? What can we learn from this awful blog post to make the next one bring more traffic?
I don’t believe that any major event can take place in our lives without offering at least one small piece of wisdom. Find those gems and make use of them!
Let go. That’s right; I said drop it. Whatever thing/person/idea/event/place you were thinking about, try to forget about it. (You won’t succeed; our memories are far too good for that!) Let those thoughts sink into the back of your mind where they can peacefully coexist with the less destructive thoughts. You’ve come to terms with it emotionally and you’ve hopefully garnered a few lessons from it. Now is the time to leave the past behind and commit yourself fully to your present life. Countless Biblical characters left behind not only a few precious possessions, but their entire lives, to fulfill the will of God. It is my very strong belief that in order for our lives to go anywhere, in order for us to grow, we must also be prepared to leave our “old” lives behind. In other words, for the future to commit to us, we have to commit to it.
Are you ready?
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