I’m writing this in response to a comic.

Before I begin, I’d like to point out that the 70% statistic used in that comic may be incorrect — or rather I have no idea where it came from. According to a June 2005 publication (scroll down to page 11), only 17% of Norwegians don’t believe in “any sort of spirit, God or life force.” Moreover, the report claims that 32% of Norwegians believe in a God, while 47% believe in “some sort of spirit or life force.” Thus, it seems that Norway might be, at worst, a nation of agnostics — a mindset quite different from that of atheists. If you happen to know what source inspired this comic, please enlighten me. But I digress…

Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of pro-atheism articles/videos/what-have-you hitting the mainstream media (or at least the mainstream Internet media). This doesn’t bother me in the slightest; in fact, sometimes I even nod or chuckle along with them, if they are sufficiently interesting or funny. Sometimes, I even agree or identify with them. What I don’t agree with is the premise under which these media minis are created — that religion is harmful to society and that religious people, as a whole, are unintelligent and annoying.

My response can be summed up in four words: I beg to differ.

(Now, of course, I should probably elaborate on that, shouldn’t I? I’ll warn you, though… you’re going to have to pry your mind open. Wide open. If you can’t manage that, you may as well quit reading now and be satisfied with my four-word response. Okay? Okay.)

I know many atheists. Some of them are good people; some aren’t. I also know many more religious people. Some of them are good; some aren’t. I know both smart and not-so-smart atheists. I know both smart and not-so-smart religious folk. Now I realize that your typical hard-nosed atheist might consider himself more astute than your typical staunch Catholic, while the Catholic might consider himself more pious than the atheist. But let’s be honest with ourselves — these stereotypes can only carry us so far. Quite frankly, I’m sick of dealing it from both sides.

Let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that 70% of Norwegians actually were atheists. And yes, it’s true that Norway is one of the most developed nations in the world. Coincidence? Actually, I don’t believe that it is. That’s right — I fully agree that atheism may correlate with greater human development. Or, a bit more meaningfully, I don’t believe that failure to believe in God (assuming his existence) condemns a group of people to violence and poverty. At least, not in this life.

Ahh, there’s the kicker. If you’re at all familiar with the major religious texts, you know that those religions place much greater value in the spiritual realm than the material realm — if they value the material realm at all. So why would God care how healthy or happy or prosperous these infidels are? Moreover, religions (at least Christianity; I can’t speak for any others on this) hold that God puts believers through trials to strengthen them.

Now the atheists out there are saying, “OR it could be that we’re just smarter, less obsessed with aerial pasta, and therefore more prosperous. Haha! God doesn’t exist! QED!” Aww, crap. There’s that QED tactic again. Can’t beat that — proven!

Is your sarcasm detector working? You’re right, though. I can’t prove God’s existence or non-existence to you, and I’m not going to try. The best I can do is explain why I believe in God, how I came to that conclusion, and what I believe my life would be like had I gone down a different path. All I can tell you is what I know from my own personal experience. Maybe you’ll be able to identify. But I’m digressing again — that’s another article for another day.

In every circle of believers or non-believers, you’ll find a few fundamentalists — and by fundamentalists, I mean those who are very far on either end of the belief spectrum. What’s aggravating to the other 99% is that hanging, even slightly, on one side of the fence opens us up to a generalized attack from the fundamentalists on the other side. No, I do not literally practice “an eye for an eye.” No, I do not believe the teaching of evolution should be banned from public schools. And, for the last time, no, I am not going to point a gun to your head and ask you to join my cult. Mmmkay?

But I’ve gone on enough tangents already, and I’ve got work to do. I hope you enjoyed this rant. *puts on flame suit*

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I may have briefly mentioned before how introverts and extroverts relate to one another (or, more likely, don’t), but have never really given any of my own thoughts on the matter. These tidbits are primarily based on my own experience, but I think they apply to all introverts, at least to some extent.

1. Introverts can pretend to be extroverted. Yes, occasionally when we’re in the right mood and the planets are aligned correctly, we can be social butterflies. Don’t be fooled — these moments don’t last forever.

2. We can also be talkative. If the topic is fascinating to us, you might have a hard time getting us to shut up. Such situations are rare, but if you happen to come across one, take advantage of it, because…

3. Our words mean more than yours. Don’t take it personally. Extroverts tend to think out loud, which means that a lot of stuff comes out, stuff that isn’t necessarily interesting. Introverts run everything they say through a mental filter. We may not speak our minds often, but when we do, we expect others to listen.

4. That brings me to my next point… Listen! And by “listen,” we don’t mean “think about what you want to say next.” When you’re an introvert, the world can be a frustrating place. You spend most of your day trying to filter through extroverts’ words because they couldn’t do it themselves. The last thing an introvert wants is to have to interrupt somebody. Be patient; we’ll talk when we’re ready.

5. We like to know that you’re listening. It seems like this would be obvious in an actual conversation, but this holds true even for things like websites! (And no, that wasn’t a “Leave a comment or else!” statement.) We need to feel that, regardless of the medium, we’re being heard. Extroverts like to talk. Introverts like to converse.

6. Don’t assume that we don’t want to talk just because we avoid people. Introverts thrive in small groups. If we’re at a club and you’ve got twenty friends in the middle of the floor and I’m standing alone against the wall, please don’t bring your twenty friends over and ask what’s wrong. If something really is wrong, I’ll probably lie about it. Start a one-on-one conversation and you’re likely to get a more candid response. If I don’t want to talk to you, I’ll probably go home.

7. Don’t assume that we do want to talk just because we’re… well, talking. Small talk is the bane of any introvert’s existence, but let’s face it — it’s a social expectation. Keep an eye on a person’s body language. If they’re looking at the sky while you’re babbling about the latest celebrity gossip, you’ve got an introvert on your hands. Tread lightly.

8. Some of us are snobs. Most aren’t. I’m going to be brutally honest here — extroverts bore us. Having said that, that does not mean we consider ourselves to be above you or that we don’t think you’re intelligent. We just wish you were a bit more captivating. But in all honesty, please don’t think we don’t respect your opinions. It is not the introvert’s intention to offend (usually), just like it is not your intention to flood the airwaves with meaningless chatter… right? Intro/extroversion is a personality trait, not necessarily a conscious choice.

Any thoughts from either group? *dons his armor and prepares for the onslaught*